Make Coffee Without Coffee Maker

It’s only happened to me a couple of times but in both cases panic set in before I was able to calm down and deal with the situation rationally. You know what I’m talking about right? It’s when you wake up, pad into the kitchen to start the coffee and discover the coffee maker has shot craps and no longer works. You know they have “check engine” lights in cars, why can’t they have a similar warning for coffee pots.

At any rate you are out a coffee maker but you are not out of options. If you live in an area that’s like most American towns you can simply walk to the end of the block to a 24/7 convenience store and buy a cup. Or if you don’t want to get dressed you can throw on a robe and go to one of the drive through widows of the gazillion fast food joints and get a cup there.

If you’re not up to leaving the house then you can use this old technique I learned in the Army. I never really thought much about how you make coffee for 160 men in the field, I just knew you had to do it or there would be a lot of angry heavily armed men at your throat. So how do you make that much coffee?

Well you take a 20 gallon kettle, fill it with water and put it on a field stove to boil. Then you take a piece of cheese cloth (or a t shirt if you’re desperate) and shovel in about two pounds of coffee. You tie the cheese cloth into a bundle and then toss it into the boiling water. Turn the heat down and wait about ten or twelve minutes for it to brew and you have 20 gallons of joe ready to go.

Okay you don’t need 20 gallons but you get the idea. Fill your broken coffee pot with water, or fill the carafe if your using a drip machine, and then pour that water into a saucepan and turn on the stove to boil it. Next you have the option of either using cheesecloth (what, you don’t have cheesecloth?) or a clean white sock you never want to use again and adding your normal amount of coffee to it. Turn the water down to simmer and toss in the sock.

If you don’t want to use a sock then just add the coffee loose. Let it sit for eight or ten minutes and then pour it into your mug through a wire mesh, or hold a coffee filter over the mug to catch the grounds.

Voila, coffee without a coffee maker.


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